Autoimmune diseases like Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis can silently wreck your life from the inside out — all while you look perfectly fine on the outside.
In many ways, this post is the hardest to write — because it means going back to the days I hid everything I was going through. It’s about the battle no one could see, and the weight I carried in silence.
🎭 Living a “Normal” Life — On the Outside
Between 2021 and 2023, I was doing everything I could to hold it together.
To the world, I looked like I had it all handled:
- I smiled at all of the social and professional gatherings
- I showed up for my family and friends
- I worked hard at my job with endless hours
- I tried to consistently do all the “normal” things
But underneath it all, my body was in a constant state of increasing crisis.
💬 Real Talk: Chronic illness doesn’t always look like a wheelchair or an IV. Sometimes it looks like someone quietly holding in pain through a conversation, a meeting, or a meal they’re scared to eat.
😔 Why I Didn’t Talk About It
Part of the reason I didn’t open up about what I was going through? It was embarrassing.
Let’s be honest — digestive problems don’t exactly make for light conversation.
Imagine trying to explain:
- Why you can’t eat at your favorite restaurant anymore
- Why you suddenly cancel plans all the time
- Why you are stressed, anxious, and frustrated
- Why you need to know where every bathroom is
- Why you get sick when you drink caffeine…or even water
- Why your schedule is now filled with never-ending doctor visits
- What all of your not-so-pleasant symptoms are
- How none of their “I mean well” suggestions apply or help
- Why you’re exhausted even though “you look fine”
I told very few people what was going on. And even the ones who knew? They didn’t know the whole story.
🧠 When the Stress Becomes the Symptom
Here’s the cruel twist:
My autoimmune issues were made worse by stress and anxiety — but they also caused stress and anxiety.
It felt like being trapped in a endless crazy cycle that I couldn’t get out of:
- Stress triggers a flare-up
- The flare-up causes pain and exhaustion
- Pain and exhaustion cause emotional overwhelm
- Emotional overwhelm causes more stress
🛌 The Invisible Side Effects
Doctors say that to understand the fatigue someone with Crohn’s or Colitis feels, a healthy person would need to stay awake for three days straight… and then try to function.
And it’s not just the fatigue.
Here are a few of the unseen effects I dealt with regularly:
| You See | What You Don’t See |
|---|---|
| Smiling face | Stomach cramps, nausea, and anxiety |
| Showed up | Canceled 3 things earlier |
| Sitting still | Constantly calculating risk (bathrooms, food, flare timing) |
| Looking “fine” | Internal inflammation, bleeding, and dehydration |
🧩 Why This Matters
We never know what someone is carrying silently.
For me, opening up took time — and courage. But now, I realize that sharing my invisible struggles helps others feel less alone in theirs. Autoimmune disease is hard enough without the shame, secrecy, or isolation.
If you’re dealing with something invisible, too, this is your reminder:
🌿 You don’t have to justify your pain to be believed.
💬 Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever felt invisible in your health journey?
What do you wish others understood about living with an invisible illness?
👇 Leave a comment below or share your story. I’m listening.
💌 Reader Challenge:
Tag a friend or share this post with someone who needs the reminder that they are not alone, even if their struggle is unseen.
💚 Stay with me — in the next post, I’ll share about my turning point…when I finally made it to the point that I could begin my healing journey. If you missed my first post of this series, you can read “From Surviving to Thriving: My Journey with Autoimmune Disease” here.
Straight Outta My Mind 