Living with Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis
I’ve learned that with Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis, I’m often my own biggest foe.
Yes—technically, my body is fighting against itself. But what I really mean is my struggle with perseverance.
The Everyday Battle
Every day, I have to tell myself no to things that once brought me joy.
No to caffeine, that small comfort that used to give me a spark of energy to push through the hardest days.
No to my childhood favorites—goodbye fried everything, see you later raw vegetables (I miss you so much, salad!), farewell to spicy seasonings, raw nuts, as well as the onions, sausage, and garlic (those dear friends that I didn’t realize meant so much to me until they were gone).
Most days, I do okay. I remind myself that every “no” is really a “yes” to my health—a little less pain, a little more stability.
But some days, it’s impossible. I know the consequences of giving in, even just a little—but knowing doesn’t always stop me. I lose my perseverance, enjoy the food for a few fleeting minutes, and then regret it for days.
And it’s not just food. Some days I slack on the supplements, probiotics, and natural remedies I know help me.
I get tired of the same endless routine—so many pills, tinctures, teas, and reminders.
It starts to feel like my whole life revolves around maintenance, and sometimes I just don’t have it in me to keep up.
Grieving What Was, Appreciating What Is
I grieve the life I once took for granted before I was diagnosed. When my daily plans didn’t revolve around what I did or didn’t eat, what I should or shouldn’t cook, or how a flare may surprise me at any moment (because it doesn’t care if it’s timing is good or bad).
I’m thankful for the healing and improvements that have come over the last few years, and I know my personal struggles could be so much worse.
But sometimes, they still feel like mountains I can’t climb even one more time.
Some days, I conquer them—and some days, they conquer me.
Learning to Give Myself Grace
It’s hard. I’m human. And sometimes, I hate that I’m not stronger.
But I’m learning that strength isn’t about never slipping—it’s about showing up again the next day.
It’s about remembering how far I’ve come, even when the climb feels endless.
It’s about grace, perseverance, and knowing that even on the hardest days, I’m still moving forward.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in a season of struggle with your own body—whatever that looks like—please know you’re not alone.
Healing isn’t linear. Progress isn’t perfect.
And even when it feels like you’re standing still, you’re still showing up. That matters more than you think.
If this resonated with you, take a moment to breathe and give yourself grace today. And if you know someone walking a similar road, share this post with them — sometimes a few honest words can make someone feel a little less alone.
Straight Outta My Mind 