Parenting Failures

Parenting Failures… or Parenting Failures?

When our kids were younger—deep in the thick of parenting those challenging tween and early teen years—we had one of those days.

You know the kind.

The kind where everything feels heavy.

The kind where you question every decision you’ve ever made as a parent.

I honestly couldn’t even tell you what the issue was anymore (which, in hindsight, is very telling). But I do remember my husband and I stepping away from the kids to have a quick “parent meeting.” You could also call it venting. Or regrouping. Or a mild emotional spiral disguised as a conversation.

At the end of it, we came to a very serious, very dramatic conclusion.

“We are parenting failures.”

We were very clear (to each other) that the emphasis was on parenting—as in we felt like we were failing at it. Not the kids. Not even close.

What we didn’t know at the time… was that our oldest had decided this was the perfect moment to attempt some Olympic-level eavesdropping.

And what she heard was:

“We are parenting failures.”

As in… the kids were the failures.

😬

She was horrified.

Thankfully, this misunderstanding came to light pretty quickly—and once it did, it became pure gold. Over the years, we have laughed about it countless times. It’s now one of those stories that resurfaces at family dinners, on road trips, or whenever parenting gets hard again.

It also taught us a few things.

First: words matter… but tone and context matter even more.

Second: kids hear everything, even when you’re sure they don’t.

And third: the moments that feel the heaviest now often become the funniest later.

To this day, it’s an inside joke in our family:

Are we parenting failures… or parenting failures?

Depending on the day, the answer might be: both.

So if you’re reading this while in the thick of it—feeling tired, unsure, or convinced you’re messing everything up—hear this:

You are not alone.

You are not failing.

And you are doing far better than you think.

One day, you’ll look back on these moments with perspective, laughter, and a whole lot more grace for yourself.

And you might even joke about being a parenting failures…emphasis optional. 💛