We’ve been married almost 22 years now, and somehow we’ve arrived at a season we talked about for decades but never truly understood until we were living it.
Two of our three kids are quickly giving us a glimpse of what “empty nest” life feels like. After years—decades—of nonstop schedules filled with ballgames, practices, school events, and the constant rhythm of parenting, things have slowed down. Not gradually… but abruptly.
And in that sudden quiet, something unexpected surfaced.
When you spend so many years pouring your energy into raising kids, even the best intentions to “date your spouse” can quietly take a backseat. You’re together, you’re committed, you’re doing life side by side—but quality, intentional connection often gets pushed to the margins. You assume you’ll catch up later.
Then later arrives.
And you realize… you’re not quite sure what to do with all this time together.
It feels a little like learning to date all over again—only now with far more history, shared memories, inside jokes, scars, growth, and grace. You know each other deeply… yet there are still parts of one another that haven’t been explored in years.
Recently, we went on a date night with a simple goal: break out of our usual routine. No dinner followed by wandering in and out of stores just to “do something.” No default conversations about kids, work, finances, or home projects.
This time, we wanted a true date.
So my husband made a list of questions—conversation prompts designed to spark curiosity, reflection, laughter, and reconnection. Topics that reminded us who we were before parenthood consumed every ounce of energy… and who we’re becoming now.
It was refreshing. Eye-opening. Surprisingly emotional in the best way.
It reminded us that marriage doesn’t stay vibrant by accident—especially in seasons of transition. Sometimes it takes intention, vulnerability, and a willingness to feel a little awkward again.
Below is the list we used to guide our conversation. Feel free to adapt it, skip questions, linger where it feels meaningful, or use it as a starting point for your own version of “dating again.”
Because even after 22 years, there’s still so much to discover—about your spouse, and about the marriage you’re still building together.
Straight Outta My Mind 