When I was a kid, writing was my safe place…my release from all of life’s stresses.
It has always been my preferred way of contact for anything involving deep thoughts, emotions, fears, and dreams.
Whether it was journaling (I’ve done that since 5th grade), writing a short story or trying my hand at poetry, or even writing letters — and now, emails — it’s always been a part of my life.
I still have my journals — so much of my life’s history, raw emotions, immaturity and all, from 5th grade through early adulthood. Though, I often wonder why I even kept them.
But as I have reached older adulthood and parenting, I have found myself leery of writing.
I know there’s a part of me that longs to do it…that’s the primary reason I started a blog in my early parenting years.
There have been days that I’ve needed that release of emotions without having to burden anyone else with it…and I took time to write…but only to quickly destroy all evidence of the writing. Not because I was writing anything bad…so why?
Why is journaling so difficult now, as an adult? Especially when you know that more now than ever, that it may be just what you need?
I’ve tried to think through my own “excuses” and here are my two reasons as an INFJ personality:
1. Writing makes me VULNERABLE.
My writing, at any moment, could be seen or shared by the world. What if I didn’t think it through enough?
What if it was just my raw thoughts and feelings, not yet filtered, but simply written out as a start of my thinking process?
And what if I’m weird…or misunderstood.
What if I’m wrong?
What if I’m right, and they don’t like it?
So many people have a “my way or the highway” opinion and aren’t afraid to share it.
Too many people seek confrontations and arguments, while I hide to seek peace.
2. Writing makes me ACKNOWLEDGE.
I am often forced to acknowledge fears and emotions that I may not be ready to accept or don’t even understand.
My brain seems to go a million miles an hour in ten thousand different directions, all simultaneously.
If I push one thought out, another is always there to replace it (times ten).
Sometimes they are easy thoughts…but sometimes they aren’t.
Sometimes they are deep felt emotions or fears that I’d much rather just keep in a box until absolutely necessary to release.
But writing doesn’t give me that option.
Writing forces my brain to go down those long, scary rabbit holes, whether I want to or not.
But, Oh! When I do write, how also liberating it is!
Unfiltered and unmasked.
It’s a “built-in” therapist literally at my fingertips!
When life seems overwhelming, even just allowing emotions to be described and justified, if only to myself, gives my heart a much-needed reprieve.
Do you journal your prayers, thoughts, feelings, or goals? Have you found it to be a burden, a blessing, or both?
If you like writing or journaling, or if you are wanting to give it a try, I’ve put together a list of some of my favorite pen and paper products {affiliate disclosure} here: https://amzn.to/48qDqH9
Straight Outta My Mind 